MEMOS

MEMO 8-18-24
"Education"
Education plays a massive part in the success of a society that cares about human capitol. It's necessary whether you go to school or not, it's necessary for entrepreneurs, for employees, for real religion and for individual happiness. Because of my documentary filmmaking, my child's experience, my own personal experience, and my time serving on the board of a Waldorf-inspired school, I've developed an opinion about a few things schools should teach but don't:
‣ How to Learn By Yourself
‣ Propaganda Literacy/Recognition
‣ Financial Independence/Debt Avoidance
‣ How to Avoid Being Scammed
‣ Mindfulness/Awareness Meditation
‣ How to Speak Up for Yourself
‣ Professional/Communication Ethics
‣ How to Physically Protect & Defend Yourself
‣ Where Food Comes From (How to Cook it)
‣ How to Make Friends & Network
Bonus: Multicultural/cocultural field trips with interpersonal communication practice opportunities!
MEMO 9-17-24
"Directing"
I've directed models, actors, kids, athletes, CEOs, extras, immigrants and voice actors for commercials, reenactments, short narratives, comedy, drama, medical scenarios, interviews, public speaking engagements and all the various people that help make a picture move on screen. I've done this for my production company BOLDRUSH!, agencies, corportations, artists, PR firms and NPOs. Here's what I know so far:
◦ Comfort is key. Being my authentic self puts people at ease.
◦ Being able to make a quick analysis of an individual with sincere interest is better than assuming a stereotype about any of those above categories.
◦ Allowing the performer to bring their performance rather than have them copy you is both harder and better.
Ultimately, I don't know what they think of me, but I hope they know that I love every minute with them.
MEMO 9-9-24
"Passing of James Earl Jones"
Not very many people remember this. But it indelibly added to who I became, amongst many dissonant and restless productions that came out of the 80’s. This was my first real endearing memory of him. My dear little sister knows. He was the grandfather I never had. I associate the feelings conveyed in this show with my one grandparent that I knew along with the strange children stories that my birth decade enjoyed. It was a mysterious and odd era to be raised in and it made me develop all my emotions just the way they were meant to be. I loved and admired that man and his deliberate care for me that I could feel through the screen.
I screeched to a halt to share this with a lump in my throat the moment my wife told me about his passing at 93 years old today.
MEMO 9-1-24
"TreaSures"
When my wife served her 18-month mission in the Baltic States during the same time I was there, one of the congregations put on an activity out in the forest (where these people often seem to feel closest to God) and while she was there, she listened to them sing and looked around and felt that they were the “treasures” Jesus spoke of. I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing that. We love our Baltic people so much. They are treasures indeed.
When Christ spoke of storing up “treasures in heaven” (Matt. 6:19-21), he spoke of physical things we couldn’t take with us, it’s true; but beyond our own personal gain of knowledge and attributes, the real work God intends for us to fulfill extends beyond ourselves and includes others: these, our brothers and sisters, our family members, are the treasures we can gather and store up. It’s an invite to join in the journey toward the unity of Zion on earth and eventually a Heavenly life beyond, in an eternal family sealed with a “binding link,” “having [our] hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another” (Mosiah 18:21).
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that we are God’s “work and [His] glory” (Moses 1:39), and if when in the service of others we are “only in the service of [our] God” (Mosiah 2:17), so should our glory include not only “intelligence”(D&C 93:36) but the “intelligences”(Abraham 3:22) — all of us. And “how great will be [our] joy” (D&C 18:16) when we meet again on the other side, all woes and worries having fled from us, relieving smile to relieving smile, loving hand in loving hand, where we can fully say to one another: Thank you for being there for me.
MEMO 8-5-24
"Briviba"
Mūsu Dieva,
Mūsu reliģijas un
Brīvības un
Mūsu miera,
Mūsu sievu un
Mūsu bērnu
piemiņai!
——
Es brīnījos par to, ka Latvija cīnījās pret savus ienaidniekus reiz pēc reiz, un uzvarēja un uzvarēja. Visiem cilvēkiem vajadzētu cīnīties visu viņu svarīgo piemiņai. Brīvība atrodas savās valstīs un savā dvēselē. Es ticu, ka kad mēs stāvēt brīvībai, mēs stāvam ar Dievu. Un kad cilvēks dara kaut ko lai stāvētu brīvībai, viņš ar Dievu stāv.
MEMO 7-9-24
"MUSASHI"
Once upon a time, in my young teenage years as I wandered around the third floor in the Johnstown Pennsylvania library, (I always enjoyed the musty creepiness of that barely used grownup section) I eventually found myself in an aisle that may have covered some sort of martial arts topics, and discovered a book called “The Book of Five Rings. And it was the beginning of my infatuation with the greatest swordsman that ever lived. Each time the Book of Five Rings is published, the translator gets to author an introduction and biography about MUSASHI.
What I remember from the brief introduction was that at age 13 he slew a samurai that was a bully in his hometown, and just used a stick to defeat him. He won many battles and finally won a famous battle against a formidable opponent, and again, just used a stick. After that he decided using steel would be unfair from then on.
This book right here is the fictionalized history of real events that happened in his life. Obviously anything this ancient (he was born exactly 400 years before I was born!) you must take with a grain of salt about its accuracy, but all that I knew about him was he was impressive. I’ve been listening to this book on Audible, by an incredible narrator who emotes better than most narrations I’ve ever heard.
The most incredible part of the story to me now is not his skill, it’s the way he changed and dedicated his life to bettering himself. In the chapter “The Rock and the Tree” he is about to be executed, and when he realizes he wasted his whole life up to that point, he screams from the hanging cage to the monk below “Save me!“ And without it being written, you understand that what he means is not just to be physically saved, but for his soul to be saved.
I have a new goal: to re-create this very chapter in the coming years and share it with you as a short film.
A long time ago when I was in the woods overseas, I had the strong impression that it was a righteous desire to capture something that I could see (in this case, in my mind’s eye) and share it with others.
This is my goal in my career, to share beautiful things that I have seen with you.
MEMO 7-5-24
"American Potential"
I was taught twice about the United States before I finally learned about the United States.
1) America was good
2) America was bad
My mother taught me that America was good.
The media taught me that America was bad.
My college professors were split. But viewing America as bad was definitely trending.
It was bad from beginning to end, was the popular thing to say. Never more popular today, I see.
This week someone placed little American flags in front of each mailbox in our neighborhood. Almost immediately some neighbors took them down. In some cases, it made some sense why those particular neighbors removed the flag.
I said it took me the third time before I “learned” about the United States. It’s because I didn’t do a surface dive in studying, I did a deep dive. I found that on the surface, regardless of the poor delivery, low view count, bad production quality, blatant lies, search engines are designed to give you a biased opinion. These aren’t omissions - these are lies. When I ask myself “Why such a coordinated campaign to brand our own country so negatively?” And we’re not alone, apparently. It’s the same for many first world countries right now: patriotism isn’t just dorky, it’s something to be ashamed of.
My studies were boring and tedious, but I somehow caught the desire for it. And each time I spotted a neighborhood flag tipped over, I put on my hazard lights and propped it up. Just for me. Just to honor the good of it. To personally hold something sacred and revere it for what it is I discovered.
For those of you who know — you know.
For those who don’t yet, all I can think to say is that there is a spirit to catch and a resonant brilliance in our Declaration of Independence, in our Constitution, in our beginnings that symbolizes our own life and struggles. I look at each man and woman who fought for and struggled to maintain freedom with the same reverence as I do the foundational efforts that made this a country. Because things have changed so much, we need more thoughtful men and women ready to risk and sacrifice for a greater freedom and improve upon that which has been built.
America is good, as long as we maintain and improve those freedoms. America is wonderful. So are other countries that have adopted a constitution in an attempt to secure their populace’s freedoms. Those countries too deserve patriots.
I read books from 60+ years ago that forewarned of the problems that we have today. That spoke of the kind of service our leaders should give. We are capable yet of catching that spirit. It is our future unity and success that will help the world become unified. We can still live up to the hopes of the original founders.
It’s not easy to see through the memes and partisan propaganda that teach you to feel ashamed and make you feel like you can’t do anything about it, but if you study, deeply study, to gain your own thoughts about how we might be governed in this union in a more perfect way, it will become apparent how much we really can do and what hope there is to have yet.
MEMO 6-8-24
"Hilda" Review
I can’t believe how truly incredible this show is. HILDA is like Bluey meets Stranger Things.
The clever animation style, the music, the OUTSTANDING voice acting, and the twists and turns in the storytelling makes this one of my favorite cartoons that I am genuinely grateful for.
Ether exclaimed multiple times with me how genius this show is. It’s definitely not for every age with how scary it is and leans into pagan culture from north eastern Europe. Ether at age seven is the perfect fit. It has some fantastic humor and has a cozy and longing melancholy that won’t be soon forgotten. Some moments are so heartbreaking and thrilling you will feel so many more complex feelings and find amazing lessons throughout. The cliff hangers and the connection between episodes and the movie between seasons and the long series finale are all fantastic. For parents out there who haven’t seen it yet, I hope I’m right when I say you’re about to love something so very much.
MEMO 4-5-24
"Dune Part 2" Review
I’ve got the unpopular opinion about Dune 2: I didn’t like it.
Cinematic, yes, but a massive missed opportunity that we may have to wait another 40 years for.
I knew they couldn’t let Chani’s character be true, I predicted she would have to be the exaggerated strong female trope. We just can’t allow anything different at this point in time. Even though Hollywood claims to love controversy, I knew the real ending of the book was too controversial for them to pull it off. The ending line: “History will call us wives” was powerful and romantic and jarring, but I knew they wouldn’t do it.
The time jump in the book is problematic, which is terribly sad, because the most epic scene of the spice overflowing into the thrown room and the real way the Baron is killed by Paul’s abominable little sister, Alia, was the clear climax of so many scenes leading up to it. The way I would have solved it would have been to put Jessica in place of the captive Alia. Alia could have still spoken through her mother, calling him “grandfather.”
And speaking of the thrown room, no matter my divisive opinion, we can all agree that Christopher Walken was awfully underutilized as the Emperor, especially considering all the dialogue at the finale.
Even though Dune was broken up into three books within a book, they squeezed all three into two films and still had to leave it open for a third - the second, and not as good, book in a very long series that never improves upon the first. When you give it an honest read, Dune is a stand alone story, and the continuations blatantly attempt to rewrite or correct supposed mistakes the writer made in an effort to reject “the author’s dead” concept that readers experience. He didn’t want us to think Paul was a hero - he wanted us to think of him as a bad guy - well, Frank, there is a very good reason that your readers thought Paul had a good heart and wanted peace: it’s because of the entire book you wrote, called DUNE. Frank Herbert wanted to “undo” after publishing, and Denis Villeneuve (I’m sure in part under pressure of studio execs) followed suit. By itself, Dune is a great book. The open-ended, unplanned plan to make you think there was more that might have a satisfying ending with the Dune 2 movie, is a wild mess to clean up. No wonder Villeneuve didn’t want to direct a “part three” — but because I respect his previous work so much, I trust that the non-reader will find the third installment to their liking. As long as the runtime isn’t on a trajectory to always outdo the last.
What I consider the most important aspect of the entire story was that as soon as Paul began to bridge time with his prescience, he was constantly trying to avoid the jihad that he foresaw, down to the last minute. Even though it was unavoidable, this effort on his part made up the core of the book’s suspense and shed light on Paul’s inner character.
But I guess Villeneuve wanted what the author wanted and took the opportunity to omit what Herbert couldn’t.
MEMO 3-29-24
"Easter"
One time in 2005, on another bitterly cold and lonely day proselytizing in Rīga, Latvija, I spoke to one of the few women who didn’t natively speak Russian out there in Pļavnieki (photo below). She was very intelligent and put forth a sort of challenge that she had never found an answer to in the Bible/religion/spiritual belief:

,,Jā, visa tā ko Jūs mācā labi būtu pēc miršanas — bet kas par šobrīd? Kādā veida tas man palīdz tagad?’’

(“Yes, all that you teach will be very nice after we die — but what about this moment? In what way does that help me now?”)

I had only just proposed the idea of having her learn about our message, but she wanted to know how any of it would apply to her right now, assuming that what we had to say would only surround blessing post-mortem; a promise of avoiding hell and achieving heaven, I suppose was her thinking.

To be honest, I was young and had not studied and prepared for every answer, but I had faith to cross the world and give up the healthiest years of my life to share what I did know. Nevertheless, I didn’t have an answer for her. I don’t remember how I responded, but she left, retaining her disinterest.

It was a very difficult time on my two-year mission serving the people of the Baltics because I was only just gaining a good work ethic and the language had not become easy yet. I wasn’t getting along with my companion and I had high expectations for myself all the while. It was the hardest time there, but I look back on it with fondness because I grew more than ever and experienced incredible things.

After that interaction with the intellectual lady, who I now appreciate greatly, I discovered an answer to her question in the Book of Mormon that expounds on a tiny passing verse in the New Testament, in the book of Alma.

While there were many prophecies about the events that would take place in the life of Jesus, this one changed and expanded the view on what His atonement could do to affect us in the here and now:

And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

(Alma 7:11-12)

In my experience I have seen and felt how this most amazing and ‘least comprehended’ event of the Atonement of Jesus Christ can bring comfort and healing, strength and change, both physically and most definitely temporally.

Something to consider as this momentous weekend dedicated to the singular most important events in Christianity begins.
MEMO 3-27-24
"RECEPTIVE"
I desire to become more spiritually receptive.
To recognize the presence of the Power that connects us to Divinity and when it’s lacking.
I desire to use that sensitivity to communicate and learn from said Power.
I also wish to leverage my will to align with habits that attune me to this reception.
To do this, I will be among people who recognize and trust this same universal Power.
I will stand, walk, sit and act in places where this Power is drawn to.
I will trust and act upon this Power’s communication.
I will depend upon It to lighten my path and do all these things in order to quality for further inspiration.
I will bravely choose the motivation of faith that good will result over the motivation of fear that bad will result.
I will shed distractions.
I will shed ego.
I intend to become one with this Power —
— in action, in desire.
I will recognize It, use It to my saving and ultimately use It to save others.
I will open my mouth and trust that it will be filled with words inspired.
I will open my mouth and I will spare not.
Beyond the moral compass that we all possess, I will pursue this Gift and access It and act on It.
Inasmuch as the Divinity on the other end of this Power allows me to receive it.
I will trust that my thoughts are lower than that of the Communicator who responds to me from across the expanse.
I will keep my side of the covenant and wait on the fulfillment of the Other.
This I will do, as long as grace attends my weakness.
For by this weakness I will know ever more on Whom I must rely.
—-
I have never heard anyone of any religion speak about the Holy Ghost the way those in my church does. I realized this as a teenager. It was in my adolescence that I learned about the steps towards that sensitivity that I spoke of. I want to commit to it more at this point in my life because I realize I have become accountable and responsible for it, and so much that could come from that sensitivity and response. Harvard called the conscience our “moral compass” and many over the years have casually (yet reverently) referred to it as a “gut feeling.” In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it’s been called the “Light of Christ,” and something believed to be inherited by all people on earth, the power to differentiate good from evil. Much, much further beyond that is the Holy Spirit which can do a great deal more for a person. And the greatest possible gift from God would be the constant companionship of this force that can serve as our communication line between us and our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I’ve learned so much about this power and believe very much that it is something that has been recognized in the great religions of all nations and is all pointing to the same thing. That we are children of Divinity and we can draw closer to it by our actions and by His grace.
MEMO 1-23-24
"Is Nothing Sacred Anymore?"
I remember hearing the phrase, “Is nothing sacred anymore?!” I didn’t understand the attitude that invoked this response, but now I do.
An elderly man who spoke at a conference once said of modernity, “Formality, respect for authority, dignity, and nobility are mocked. Modesty and neatness yield to slouchiness and shabbiness in dress and grooming. The rules of honesty and integrity and basic morality are now ignored. Conversation is laced with profanity. You see that in art and literature, in drama and entertainment. Instead of being refined, they become coarse” (Packer, 2015).
There has been a great deal of improvement in today’s world, but undeniably, there has also been trends that have steered us away from an older direction we were once heading.
Pick up a book written a 100 years ago, and you’ll see the very language we use has become corrupted. We say that which we no longer understand and our creativity is lost in the lack of vocabulary and expression diminished and limited to clever phrases that bear meaning we expect others to grasp. Such communication risks misunderstanding and yielding unfair judgement. Such risks yet risk the more risky: a faded conveyance of truth.
What do you seek to refine?
What is sacred to you?
And how do you “hold them sacred?”
My list is long, but this morning I realize I have a great deal of work to do, in this regard. Some of these I hold sacred:
• Actions in history that led to freedom from slavery
(I think of William Wilburforce and Harriet Tubman, two opposites that I have no doubt embraced one another in spirit)
• Relationships with my family and closest friends
(Something I will not exchange for money)
• Places of worship (mine or others)
(I think of when I visited St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican and felt it was appropriate to wear something more business than casual)
• Children
(I recently visited my son’s school and felt a strong and inexplicable willingness to lay down my life for his classmates)
I found myself last year revisiting the Declaration of Independence and read it aloud on the 4th of July. I have finally begun to understand it.
I now hold that sacred. I hold our freedoms sacred. Now I get it. I had learned it. But now I know it. And my view upon our country has changed. There is something sacred in a nation of people. Yours or mine.
And this I also believe: it is sacred when we make it sacred.
MEMO 12-5-23
"Godzilla Minus One" Review
Minus One was excellent.
Most terrifying godzilla depiction yet.
Great music and sound design.
Incredible for a budget of $15M.
Fantastic human story with heart.
War is horrible. Godzilla is symbolic.
MEMO 10-18-23
"October 7th"
I just watched footage the Israel Defense Forces was compelled to release because the info wars had convinced so many that maybe Israel was wrong and Hamas (or as they prefer you to think of them, all Palestinians) were by some unimaginable stretch of the imagination in the right by committing definitive acts of inhuman terror.
Ever since I found myself surrounded by some of the loveliest people I’ve ever met at a school of Jews in Greensboro, NC, immediately after the neo-nazis came out of hiding in Charlottesville, VA years ago, I was convinced that Jewish people and culture were in every sense Good, with a capital G. My conversations with them brought my heart so close to them, I could feel what they felt, like a true empath. I love them. I love my Jewish friends.
I heard from youth who had been to Israel. One beautiful redhead girl spoke with impressive valor and sincerity: ‘After high school, I’m going to join the IDF.’ An ambition I have yet to see from a young woman of any other culture. Brave and clear eyes told more than those words. She had had a paradigm shift and spoke with levelheadedness.
I didn’t know if I had ever met a Jew before in my life. Maybe I did. But my circles certainly didn’t include any and those I know didn’t know any that I was aware of. As far as I knew, my family didn’t know of any. Well, we knew of one Jew and we really liked Him.
But much like the group of students from the HBCU (historically black college/university) NCCU that I worked with immediately after several police shootings took place around the country, I felt like I was gifted a view as a minority among these cultures that I love, as they felt fear and pain.
I want to encourage you not only to do a very diligent deep dive into questioning the things you hear from the media, but also get to know the people involved with tragedies and events.
Open your dang doors to people, people.
Where is your heart if you are closed off from cultures that are not solely your own?
You know what happened to my heart? It made room for everyone. There’s enough room in every human heart, and we all — we all — have a common enemy who is quite literally hell-bent on destroying any chance of unity in this world by making us think we won’t have room or that it is not worth the risk of a moment of awkward interaction when we are brave enough to open our hearts to someone different.
I feel nothing but love and concern for you, my friends. My Jews, my Muslims, my Latter-day Saints, my Baptists, my Pagans, my Protestants and my Orthodox - my everyone.
Pure truth is the only way to effectively change hearts, because once they know there is a joy found in unity, they will want it and abhor the temptation to hate and separate. That’s what I believe.
I support my Jewish brothers and sisters. I shudder and feel the pangs of those awful scenes and fears you might now feel. And I am sorry that we have a failed and biased journalism in our world. You don’t deserve this. At least not this - and certainly not the kind of assaults in your chosen land. May God strengthen you and grant you justice, relief and safety in the very near future.
MEMO 10-14-23
"The Creator" Review
I thought “The Creator” was beautiful, heartbreaking, highly unique (although not entirely unpredictable, and truly satisfying in that it went where you were hoping it would go), had twists and surprises in both the story and action. The performances by John David Washington and Madeleine Yuna Voyles shockingly diverse and impressive! The way they made it truly look like a $200M movie for only $80M was effective and convincing.
Spoilers follow:
The message is clearly about equality, as is evidenced via allegory by the interracial relationship and emphasized by the way humans mourn over the loss of visually unrelatable machines. One of the most sad scenes is where a robot who plays the tough guy in the Neo Asia coexisting society let’s himself die to save a human family. The pacing was noticeably fast. It felt like the edit was unique but also intentionally cramming in as much as could be done. As the DP called it, it was “propulsive” and could have been stretched out longer. I admit that there was a jump scare that totally caught me off guard and the suspenseful scenes at the end had me on the edge of my seat. From what I heard they did film longer character developing scenes that would have been very useful, but cut them because of how much story they had to fit in. I gotta say also, returning back to the way they filmed with a small crew on real locations, I was absolutely blown away by how very many landscapes and variety of scenes were in this one movie. It was an outstanding visual feast.
If you love the genre and aren’t tired of AI themed stories, you might love this. It doesn’t pattern itself after anything else I can think of. I only wish I hadn’t seen a preview, because the story would have been a lot more intriguing. That’s the issue with trailers that tell a lot and my brain that retains every frame.
MEMO 7-9-23
"Dracula"
I don’t normally share something straight out of my journal (and this, kind of a weird one), but I felt like I had to write in it before I slept off this feeling:
I began reading Dracula in December, and today, July 9th, I have finally finished it.
I sought it out because I heard of its unique epistolary format, because I wanted to compare to an idea for a book that I had. But, not only is it entirely composed of letters, but newspaper articles, ship logs, phonograph transcripts, journal entries and memorandums. I never thought I would be so pulled into it.
I became so attached to these characters and the simplicity of its depiction of events, that I felt like it was real. Like I was there. I held my breath with them. I shivered with them. I felt the anxiety and panic as they did.
My first two comments on the book have been all this year: 1) We don’t speak English how we ought to anymore, and 2) Dracula is the best (worst) bad guy/villain character in all invented fiction; additionally, all depictions have failed miserably in both appearance and what made him terrifying.
Now I see the all, the whole, and know very much that this honors the glory of men and women, in all their bravery and loveliness. The mythos is far less important than the humanity that stood up in their simpleness against a monster. Humanity who did “dare much.” I honor Jonathan Harker and I love Mina Murray Harker. I pity and felt the relief for dear sweet Lucy Westerna, who taught me that to love women is to love them for all they are, even their faults and differences — for the external, superficial appearances do not hold a candle to what a woman really is.
I felt the undeniable revolting fear and hatred toward the Count. And I felt he must be stopped.
Indeed my only hope as I shared Jonathan Harker’s terror as he was kept inside the castle, was that I knew at some point, Van Helsing would appear. That hope sustained me. And all the better to learn that he was as normal as any man. Just like them all, so normal and average that their actions spoke all the more loudly.
I, too, shook hands with the men as Van Helsing proposed their pact on that traumatizing morning in the graveyard.
I was surprised how naturally Bram Stoker (whose name is almost synonymous with Dracula now) included faith and the opposing power of God and ordinance symbols that worked against the assaults and the very idea of the Un-Dead vampire, and all that without being off beat. Indeed in 1897, faith must’ve been the primary thought turned to when facing or detecting any evils in the world.
I wept for Lucy. I wept in the anxiety and breathless anticipation when the final suspenseful moments were stacking with the yearning for relief. And to read Mina’s record of Quincy Morris’ last words, I wept as they all grieved bitterly at his peaceful, honorable death. To know it was worth it all, right at the end. They saved her. In doing so, they saved Lucy again, the woman they all loved and lost.
No one could write this - no one should have made it into a movie or a series, they ruined it. This was, as they say, a masterpiece. I believe only as an adult could I have related to each and every part. All the scenes. The frustrations and awkwardness, the terror and the cold. The skilled grasp of the Winchester. The unsure grasp of Mina’s pistol. The flashing kukri knife in the hand of Jonathan.
And with my experience in Moldova, to know the language. The sound. The accent. The food, as mentioned on the second page, even.
As odd as it all is, this book meant something to me. One of the few fictional, and the very first horror genre I’ve ever read. It came to me when I sought it. It was found at eye level when I wasn’t looking. And for two bucks I had all this experience.
Never has there been a better return on an investment like mine.
(Below is an artists rendition of what Count Dracula looked like according to the book)
MEMO 7-4-23
"The Sound of Freedom"
I’ve never wept through an entire movie. Sound of Freedom was WAY better than I thought or that the trailers could convey.
I went to school with someone who helped film some of the early operations Tim Ballard led and since then I learned about trafficking in our country. Raleigh being in the top three cities on the East coast. Learning about the advocates that help repatriate those trafficked out of European countries drove it home. When I offered to help the local organization and was met with apathy. When I spoke to a veteran who expressed his gratitude for serving in the war, but wished of all the things he could have done, would have been to go after the traffickers. To hear how jaded dissenters politicized it online. I have no doubt that this film was suppressed. Everyone felt more comfortable to make Schindler’s List, but fifty years too late for it to reach people that it impacted the most. Trafficking for sex and labor has led to more slavery today than when slavery was legal. Let that sink in.
I will buy tickets for any of my friends or family who are willing to take the time to go see it, I kid you not. Message me.
Does anything else in life even matter when your child is missing?
MEMO 2-6-23
"Kane Pixels"
I’m not a horror fan. I think X-Files traumatized me. But if you haven’t heard about “The Backrooms” - an internet urban legend - and its short film phenomena by Kane Parsons, it is the only horror that I admire (and am still too terrified to continue watching). It’s impossible to describe how absolutely brilliant the then-16-year-old is for running with this idea with some kind of demented inspiration. It’s undeniable.
He’s now 17 and, of course as this article states, A24 is helping finance and allowing him to direct a feature film based on his short films that have amassed about 100,000,000 views on YouTube.
The kid is a mystery. I caught an audio recording of an open conversation he conducted online and as one might expect, it was full of all the unrelatable examples of his generation: kids talking over each other without taking offense, something letting streams of consciousness stream while streaming the live conversation conglomeration; but there was one outstanding character whose voice was beyond his years - Kane Parsons himself. Knowing what I know about filmmaking and VFX, this feat was all too amazing and his adultish voice and maturity made me question the reality of his age. “There’s no way a 16-year-old made this…” But alas, it was entirely created by a high schooler.
I can’t say I recommend watching his shorts because of how much they messed up my sleep (along with several creepypasta rabbit holes I found myself dive into in early 2022), but at the same time it might just be me that this film resonated with in such an unsettling way. It is perfectly disturbing. How’s that for a pitch? Yeah, don’t watch unless you’re really into the genre. I certainly am not and have yet to muster the courage to watch the last few shorts he released. Regardless, I have to hand it to him. Kane Parsons has accomplished something amazing in his short life.
MEMO 11-23-22
"Andor" Review
I never post reviews. But Andor blew my mind.
It was Star Wars — but real.
It filled in the gaps of a minimalist explanation of a rebellion against an empire. It brought a greater thrill than I thought I could experience in anything this genre has left to offer — and did so in spite of the contrasting quality hitherto offered, not because of that contrast. It brought tears to my eyes as I realized exactly what they were doing with this show. It was gloriously slow and brilliantly refused to spoon-feed its audience at any point. Undeniably commanded attention to the cinematography that felt nothing like the previous works. The set design was miraculous compared to the former series. It gave me chills to think that somewhere in this realistic galaxy — there are Jedi.
The most amazing memorable moments of a TIE fighter buzzing the protagonists, the tragedy of a doomed prison escapee, monologues that stirred every last ounce of that spirit of freedom within you, the edginess and grit missing from the sterile and wooden acting and dialogue in all former iterations, an undeniably fascinating romance between the antagonists, acting that surpasses most every show you have watched in recent years, music that combined the originals’ era with modern emotion, the delightful return of actors and actresses that have graced the saga, the deepening development of iconic characters that barely ever received screen time, the direction permitted from directors that you can finally respect, the genre of “Spy/Espionage” thriller, the connectedness of each episode and overarching plot and the nazi/gestapo/fascist tone that we only got a glimpse of in the astounding Rogue One.
Tony Gilroy has given us a blessing.
Diego Luna must feel something beyond pride for having been the star of this show.
This has reminded me of what I suspended my disbelief for. This has brought me to my senses about our freedom and has given me pause to think on the origin of our rebel foundation in the United States, and so many other post-Soviet Union countries that I love. It made me want to decide now what I am willing to stand up for.
Every single frame.
For those who felt this way about the original Star Wars trilogy already, this series is the real deal and does it the justice we’ve been waiting for. Go watch Andor.
MEMO 5-17-22
"Sword Saint"
For those who know me well, or at least have known me long, one of my top passions is martial arts. The emphasis and reason for that passion has improved over time. But to this day, one of my heroes of Japanese history is Shinmen Musashi No Kami Fujiwara No Genshin, also known as Miyamoto Musashi. The Sword Saint. His story, while often mixed with legend, is undeniably astounding, having never been defeated, winning duels as a 13-year-old, finding it unfair to use actual metal swords opting for wooden bokuto instead and finally writing his influencial masterpiece: The Book of Five Rings. I've studied his story since I was an adolescent. Now as an adult I can understand his words more fully, by practice and by intellect. His wisdom, like the wisdom of all the masters, applies to life more than war now. I present to you a few quotes:

"Do not fear death."

"Never stray from the Way."

"Resentment and complaint are appropriate neither for oneself nor others."

"Never be jealous."

"Accept everything just the way it is."

"Do nothing that is of no use."

"The ultimate aim of martial arts is not having to use them."

"Perceive that which cannot be seen with the eye."

"If you make your opponent flinch, you have already won."

“The true science of martial arts means practicing them in such a way that they will be useful at any time, and to teach them in such a way that they will be useful in all things.”

It has been a core piece of me to feel fulfilled in studying the Way, both physically and intellectually, and these things combined have surprised me with spiritual knowledge as well. Very much to my surprise.

These are the words Musashi carved into his wooden sword that appear upon his monument:

誠 Sincere/Devoted
心 Heart/Core
真 Righteous/Pure
道 Way/Path
MEMO 4-9-22
Finland
I lived in Finland, Espoo and downtown Helsinkii, for about a month in 2006. Ever since then I’ve always looked at Finland as the example that former Soviet Union countries might’ve looked like if occupation and communist times had not affected them. I remember seeing very old photos of Latvian cities and noted how absolutely beautiful their buildings were, before war touched them. I remember living in Kaunas, Lithuania and seeing only the grey Soviet-era apartment buildings as far as the eye could see. I’m sure there are countless arguments from those who lived during Soviet times (I remember hearing a Communist cab driver say, “At least we could always have something to eat [in the Soviet Union]!”). But now from multiple post-Soviet countries that I’ve spent time in, I’ve seen and heard how that era affects aspirations and work ethics when there was no opportunities to capitalize. I think worst of all was the trauma and sentiment of those who lived through or lived in a place that was once controlled by the USSR. It’s true, my time in Latvia, Lithuania and Moldova has convinced me that Communism has solely been a scourge in every imaginable way. This was not taught, this was learned. As a missionary who spoke to random thousands in their homes, heard their stories and saw their photos of a tough life, I was privy to a view most people haven’t seen. (Just spending time with the local missionaries in Pennsylvania gave me an eye-opening perspective of those in my neighborhood in the early 2000’s!) Beyond that amazing privilege to serve as a missionary, I now have friends who grew up in the Soviet Union and those who suffered through what the rest of us would call “abuse” of even educational institutions in Belarus. These days I often wonder - really “wonder” at those around me in the US who could never imagine that people (just like you and I) had to struggle so much in comparison. I believe this would not have been the case of it weren’t for war, occupation, state control and false pretenses of Communism.
I would stand condemned if I didn’t emphatically express how resilient my dear friends are who live in these countries. Indeed I’ve often thought God must’ve put some seriously tough people in these places because I would’ve been a traumatized wimp! My goodness it’s true. I also cannot resist saying how very much in love I am with Russian people. When I hear their language on the street my heart beats a little faster and my eyes brighten and in the most feeble few phrases I know, for some reason I actually attempt to engage in conversation. I make it a point in every city I’ve lived to locate a Russian market or store, and I feel this way even after the countless times I’ve heard an angry, <<Что вы хотите!?>> Truly, I don’t think I could ever get enough of you, Russians. That is the only feeling I have toward you.
And don’t get me started on my Latvians. I’ve wept, longing for you and felt real flutters as I’ve returned to your shores. I would lose myself for your sake.
I believe Russia needs new leadership. They deserve it after all they’ve been through. Leadership that will allow freedom of the press, that will bear criticism of themselves, that will return to the inspiration that is government with a constitution that they honor and nobly give way when their people’s right to vote removes them from office. Leaders with eyes set on their children’s future. Strong women and men with loud voices to shake the earth who will stand up for unity and love. Real leaders who will strike down corruption in high places. I see a future to come when we will all be united and save the world. We must.
Back to the topic of Finland. Right now, Russia’s leaders are threatening Finland by flying military over and breaching Finnish airspace, and also, Finland has claimed Russian cyber attacks. All this in an effort to cause fear. Finland may soon announce their desire to join NATO. This is not, as their former PM said, like asking for fire insurance once the house catches fire. Putin has made clear his intentions to dismantle unity since his speech before the Munich Security Conference in 2007, and has recently been caught promoting blatant lies, enough for us to collectively give bordering countries like Finland the benefit of precautionary measures if they announce their desire to join NATO. Finland deserves the support and subsequent protection and I support them.
Terrorism has always united, in stark contrast to the intention of its perpetrators.
MEMO 2-7-21
"The Social Dilemma" Review
Watched Netflix's "The Social Dilemma" last night for the first time and have to ask 'How it has become even *more* relevant since its release?' It's the most important thing you could watch if you haven't already. Don't hesitate like I did.
I hesitated to watch because I didn't want to be discouraged from using social media, I think. Reasons being that I have a lot going on here, business, requests, sharing the most important things with my relatively small audience, and collecting people in one space with whom to communicate. I try to avoid the silly things, and admittedly I avoid almost entirely looking at the feed which has helped me not lose time endlessly and unaccountably.
It's hard to describe in simple terms, as the movie points out, what the dilemma actually is. The movie was less about being anti-social media than it was about being ethical and how unregulated social media is compared to it's predecessors (like TV shows and movies). A lot of it I was aware of, and the topic of Persuasive Design was extremely important to point out. The documentary feels like the most important thing you could be watching even if you aren't a social media user.
I was shocked to see the connection between destabilizing countries and social media influence. That has been a huge topic ever since I spent time in Eastern Europe where it's always a concern. I hope we are all becoming more aware that even our country is susceptible to the kind of influence that this movie talks about.
I hope it moves you to action and at least reminds you of the hold these businesses have on you. It made me turn off the notifications for my email and others that I have recognized and been slow to address. I noticed that I would check my phone for one thing, turn it off and set it down and then I would get an email notification. I would sometimes check to see and note that the email had been received minutes earlier and that it was just waiting for me to put my phone down to pull me back into it. It's smart. But turning off notifications is a start. Limiting my usage to specific times of day has been difficult already today. Like all media, it has good potential, but we sort of created a brain and this brain has been given a soul with the directive to learn how to make money. That's no way to raise a new intelligence. It reminds me of "feeding The Beast" as they say in news. There's this something unintentional that is driving people and tempting them to make unethical decisions, but it has to be fed, so dish it up. As I was once told, it could be used for a great purpose: to hold the powerful accountable. But that was rare and rarely even done with those intentions. Decisions news and entertainment organizations make are so geared toward money-making and feel the pressure of everyone else following a method and needing to do the same, it leaves little room for ethics at times.
We need a guide to see through all this. A bright and true guide.
MEMO 12-28-20
"RESUMES"
MEMO 10-31-20
"Avatar: The Last Airbender" Review
I had heard about this show, saw clips or advertisements for it and didn't think anything of it. Then I heard surprising people speak so surprisingly highly of it - and all the gen z guys I had hired for work of course grew up with it and behaved as if baffled when they heard I had never seen it - so, I had to watch. I must confess, it is absolutely one of the best, certainly the most well-written animated television shows I have ever seen. I was moved, I was uncontrollably on the edge of my seat, I was - as odd as this sounds - blessed by the wisdom it bestowed, and of course it made me laugh in every episode - even tear up in some, but the depth and intertwined details of the story was such that in comparison with ALL my childhood's shows this stands out as the masterpiece I never had. Much like when I rediscovered Miyazaki's work from Studio Ghibli, I feel lucky to have been introduced to this epic tale, appropriately portrayed in animation form. 
MEMO 8-10-20
"MONSTER"
MEMO 8-7-20
"High Strangeness"
MEMO 8-3-20
"Reconsider Social Media"
Memo 7-27-20
"Creativity of an Amateur"
MEMO 7-24-20
#pioneerday
We've always defined ourselves by the ability to overcome the impossible.
And we count these moments -
these moments when we dared to aim higher,
to break barriers,
to reach for the stars,
to make the unknown known.
We count these moments as our proudest achievements.
But we lost all that.
And perhaps we've just forgotten -
that we are still pioneers,
that we've barely begun,
and that our greatest accomplishments cannot be behind us,
but our destiny lies above us.
-Nolen
---
I used to look back at the pioneer era with immature eyes. Disinterest and disdain for superficial reasons.
But now that I am accountable for their history, now that I've wept with the mothers whose children they buried, suffered the embarrassment with the with husband and wife who changed after long separation, realized how my faith pales in comparison, and seeing the contrast between quality of life then and now - I shutter at the thought and will forever take them seriously.
To those who sacrificed more, those who trusted more, who left it all behind, to escape religious persecution and the failure of our country to live up to its Constitution and law, to find their promised land, to arrive and find it barely promising and to persevere and make it become promising, who chose to be the chosen, to them all I can't help but bow my head in reverence.
And I pray that I will live up to the drive they felt.
Those Voyagers in whose heart lies the Eternal Principle.
Those Explorers, which were driven by that Principle to go further.
Those Survivors, who felt that drive ever since it was given to us when the brooding began upon the waters.
Those Pioneers.
We have yet to pull into our valley.
Our destiny lies above us.​​​​​​​
Memo 7-14-20
"A Hard Thing"
MEMO 9-10-24
"BOSTON FILM FESTIVAL PREMIERE ANNOUNCEMENT"
On opening night, Thursday, September 19th at 9:00 pm, we are so grateful to be screening the US premiere of Jojo Rabbit! We are getting a first look before it hits theaters October 18th! Directed by Taika Waititi, with Scarlett Johansson, Roman Griffin Davis, Thomasin McKenzie, Sam Rockwell, Rebel Wilson, Stephen Merchant and many more!
Set during World War Two, an awkward young German boy whose only ally is his imaginary friend Hitler has his naïve patriotism tested when he meets a young girl who upends his world views. 
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